Emmett and Bella Moment
by jasperluvr95
Summary: Edward goes hunting leaving Bella with Emmett and the rest of the family... Emmett is armed with an Ipod, what will happen? REALLY FUNNY! one-shot, might turn into a two-shot later. plz read! really good! rated T because I'm paranoid
1. Chapter 1

NARATOR IN DEEP SEXY VOICE: we come upon this quiet place of Forks, Washington to observe the peaceful life of vegetarian vampires that live in the vicinity. To some they may seem like normal human beings, but in turn you will come to see the truth behind their remarkable and difficult way of life.

EMMETT: She says, we've got to hold on to what we've got!  
'Cause it doesn't make a difference  
If we make it or not!  
We've got each other and that's a lot  
for love - we'll give it a shot!

WHOOOAH! We're half way there  
WHOOOAH! Livin' on a prayer  
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear  
Livin' on a prayer

BELLA: shut up Emmett!!! I'm trying to read here!

EMMETT: (still dancing with iPod in ears) WHAT!!!!!!!!

BELLA: I said I'm reading here!!!!!

EMMETT: (still dancing) YOU'RE BLEEDING!!!!!!??????

BELLA: no!! I'm reading!!!!

EMMETT: (stops dancing and pulls earphones out with shocked expression) TMI girlfriend!!! I don't want to know what you and Edward do in your spare time!!

BELLA: WHAT??! When did I say anything like that?

EMMETT: DON'T MAKE ME SNAP MY FINGERS IN A Z FOR-MA-TION!!! (snaps fingers in z formation and giggles like a teenage girl)

BELLA: what is wrong with you? (puts book down and walks up to Emmett) if you're gonna do it, do it right! (they both start snapping their fingers in z formations)

EMMETT: we need music!!

BELLA: yes!! (Emmett puts in one earphone and Bella puts in the other. They start dancing to cotton eyed joe)

EMMETT AND BELLA: (doing the dance) If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

He brought a disaster wherever he went  
The hearts of the girls were to hell, broken sent.  
They all ran away so nobody would know  
and left only men 'cause of Cotton-Eye Joe

(Yee-Haw)

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
where did you come from Cotton-eye Joe

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

He brought disaster wherever he went  
The hearts of the girls were to hell, broken sent.  
They all ran away so nobody would know  
and left only men 'cause of Cotton-Eye Joe

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe  
I'd been married long time ago  
Where did you come from where did you go  
Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe

JASPER: when are they going to realize we are standing here?

ALICE: if they haven't noticed yet I don't think they ever will.

BELLA AND EMMETT: YEE HA!

NARATOR WITH THE SEXY VOICE: and there you have it folks, the life of a typical average vegetarian vampire family. Now let's find Edward, he's the hottest and most sexually app- who wrote this?? Barbra!!! What is this all about?! Well you told me to read off the page and now look!! Why would my 15 year old daughter want to see Edward Cullen? She couldn't have written this... oh dear I had no idea she felt so sexually about this man! Look at what she wrote!! Paper humping? Absurd! Go find her, I guess it's time we had 'the talk'. What we are still on air? Well that is embarrassing! Ummmm and yes that's the life of vampires I have some very important business to take care of. Ah, there you are Heather, we need to talk...

**I wrote this like, forever ago and I decided to post it! Idk my friends think its really funny. I have written another Emmett and Bella moment and I might post it if I get enough reviews… *hint hint***


	2. IMPORTANT!

THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM GOING AWAY UNTIL JULY 4TH, 2009 FOR CAMP AND THERE IS NO TECHNOLOGY ALLOWED. I WONT BE UPDATING UNTIL THEN! THANK YOU TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE THAT TAKE THE TIME TO READ MY STORIES. I HOPE YOU KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR WHEN I UPDATE AGAIN. I AM LEAVING ON JUNE 25TH, 2009 (A.K.A- tomorrow) LUV YOU ALL!

THANKS,

Jasperluvr95


	3. Im Back!

IM BACK!!!

I know that it seemed like forever but I am finally back from camp!! Yay!! I know I said I was getting back on July 4th but my computer wasn't working so I couldn't update but now it is working so here I am!!! Lol

I want to thank everyone that reviewed and voted for the villain in my story feuding love. This is the total so far…

James: 6

James/Victoria: 2

My own made up character: 4

Group betrayal: 2

For all of you that haven't voted yet, please do!! I really want you guys to tell me what you want. As you can see James is winning so I have already come up with a plot if people choose him.

I also have an idea for a new story but I will wait to write it until I update a couple other stories and finish feuding love.

Thanx for waiting for me to come back!!

Luv you all,

~jasperluvr95


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